In Need of Some Motivation

It's not the first wall I've ever hit, but this one seems to be pretty hard to knock down. My motivation to train is at an all time low.
I always say I won't sign up for another spring marathon because I struggle with winter training, but end up signing up anyways, so here I am, getting ready for Nashville in 10 short weeks. My longest run of 2020 has been a slow, shuffling 10 miles.

During the Chicago Marathon Oct 19, I heard God say "it's time to rest" and maybe I took it a little too far as I'm flirting with lazy / unmotivated these days. I have slowed down and been getting in what miles I can, but thought I would make a fun list to help me remember why I love marathons.

26.2 miles or longer.... 2007-Feb 2020

Alabama- Rocket City Marathon. Rained the whole time, still a sub 4
Arizona- Grand Canyon Rim to Rim to Rim. It changed me. 20 hours, forever will I remember that day.
California- Big Sur Marathon holy hills. Difficult but beautiful.
Florida- Disney Marathon so many stops taking pictures with characters.
Idaho- Couere D' Alene Ironman First Ironman Finish- counting this Marathon for my 50 states goal. Beautiful and nobody to hug at the finish. It was one of the most physically difficult days of my life.
Illinois- Chicago Marathon. Forever my favorite. So much so that I have run it 7 times. 
Indiana- Veteran's Day Marathon. Small little race. Was trying to break 4 hours so thought I would do this on my own. Didn't quite hit it that day.
Maine- Shipyard Main Coast Marathon favorite destination race so far, smiles with Brant.
NY- New York City Marathon- Harder than I thought and a bit of a blur. Best Marathon start ever.
South Carolina- Charleston Marathon- fastest- 3:56 thanks to pacer Tara
Utah-Cottonwood Marathon- Familia. Tried to run hard, downhill hurts.
Vermont Lost Cat Marathon- most fun I've ever had on a marathon. Mostly alone but such an adventure. Came in third place for this teeny tiny trail race.
Wisconsin- Wisconsin Marathon in Kenosha- first time brought to tears during (not after a marathon) - cold and windy and miserable. Used this as training run so made it an ultra that day, turn around at mile 25 to back track some miles to make it 31. These are the days that mentally strengthened me.
*South Africa- Comrades Izokuthoba- Humble me it did, and one of the turning points in my relationship with Jesus. 
*Bordeaux, France-Marathon du Medoc- crazy, wild, and fun and witnessed true determination to finish what was started by my friend Jess

I wonder if I have the will in me to train like I did for some of those races again. One training day I ran 16, ate, and went back out for 16 more, in the rain. Like a bossbabe. Another training day, I had the mental focus to swim in a pool, for 2 HOURS. Not the same as a 2 hour training run. I had days where I would ride my bike, ALL DAY LONG, for 7 hours, just to prepare to hit my goal on race day.

Motivation comes and goes and once I'm ready to really commit to training for a Boston Qualifier, I know that I have it mentally in me to really train to get there. In the meantime, I will rest and slowly build back up so that I can safely and happily cross another finish line. 

Updating!

It's been way too long for an update, so posting a summary of races from the last two years since my last post was from Comrades.
I've come back to the blog in preparation to write a post about a different kind of adventure... traveling to Iceland with my boyfriend Brant and his son Dylan.

But first, races....

Since June 2016:


April 2017 Ragnar SoCal
June 2017- Accepted on Team Isagenix
June 2017- Sprint Triathlon
August 2017 Hood to Coast Relay
September 2017- Cottonwood Marathon
October 2017- Chicago Marathon
April 2018- Big Sur Marathon

30 Days later...

I keep calling these last 30 days a "Re-Set" because that's exactly what I needed, and exactly what it did for me. Calling it a cleanse, or a program are all comparable descriptions, but for me, I was in a rut, and truly just need to give myself something to re-boost and re-energize.

Running Comrades with the Team World Vision in South Africa this last May was hands down, one of the most incredible events that I have ever participated in. If you have been thinking about this, go sign up, now. Say yes. If you have been considering participating in an event with Team World Vision, go sign up, right now, say YES.
http://fromflipperstofinishline.blogspot.com/2016/06/izokotuba.html

While overall it was physically, emotionally and spiritually an incredible experience, my body was wiped out. I had trained for and completed the Rim to Rim to Rim - 47ish miles in one day in the Grand Canyon (epic adventure) in 2015.
http://fromflipperstofinishline.blogspot.com/2015/05/rim-to-rim-to-rim.html

Then trained for and completed the Comrades Marathon -56 miles in one day in South Africa (epic adventure) and coming back I just couldn't find my running legs.

Folks bounce back from endurance events at different rates from each other. Some take 6 months to feel good, some a few weeks- Rusty turned around and completed 64.68 miles running by himself in the name of clean water. For me, not so much.

In July, I completed a two week intensive teacher training program towards becoming a registered yoga teacher. That was the first step towards getting myself moving again and feeling good. I met incredible people and it was one of the best choices that I've ever made. Thanks Nicole for inviting me to participate!

As the summer went by, I kept consuming calories, but wasn't really working out or running. I was cranking out 4 miles if I was lucky, at around 45 minutes. (A big accomplishment for many, but not my happy pace)

It was September and I was still not able to get my stride back, I was attempting to watch what I was eating, starting to work out again, but found my habits slowly leading me back towards feeling tired, sluggish, and overall cranky. Oh oh. Not good for the fall, going into a winter season.

The universe has ways of pointing you towards things, and this time it had pointed me to a facebook post. My buddy Todd had posted a success story about somebody who had just finished a 30 day program. The person in the photo had experienced; weight loss, an increase in energy, and stronger weight lifting performance. Uhm yes, please! Sign me up.  I quickly messaged him that day and was ready to go the next week.

The picture below, on the bottom left, is me on 919/2016. I was tired, carried more than I wanted, and just felt icky. Stress build up and so does cortisol and belly bulge.

The picture on the top left, in the orange bikini was this summer, me actively "sucking in". When I shared some before or after pictures, she asked if in my after picture I was "sucking it in". The picture in the orange top, is me trying to "suck it in", but when she asked if she could post it, I said as long as you hide my stomach please! Not that I disliked my body, but have always struggled with wavering confidence. The group picture on the right is me at a yoga class trying to hide my stomach. (taken 9/11/2016)

But here's me, just three weeks later, on 10/8/2016, posing in a sports bra and yoga shorts (top right). and finally 30 days later, - 10.5 lbs lighter, 2 minutes a mile faster on an average 6 mile run, better rested, and lighter in every step and bounce. (Bottom right).
I finally feel back to a place where I can take care of myself and get back to getting stronger and feeling balanced.

I've liked these products so much that I've now become a consultant to be able to share, and I'm personally going to continue into the winter "off season" I'm excited to see which big races are next, haven't decided yet, if you have any adventures scheduled, let me know!!!

Izokotuba- Comrades 2016

My head often sees and remembers in random details. Sometimes so many, that I pass over several details, but it's in the details that I re-tell my stories. So I've laid out this blog post in a series of details that have stuck with me and that I hope to remember when looking back. I've made an attempt at a somewhat chronological order of the entire trip, but it's mostly a gathering of my thoughts and reflections. I'm sure I'll be editing this post and adding things here and there. 

Izokotuba "be submissive" is the google translation. "It will humble you" was the tagline of Comrades 2016. Televised interviews of the race had folks saying, "the race won't humble me... I will humble the race".....
Well, this race not only humbled me, it flattened me. I probably didn't recover the best way I could immediately following the run, but I for sure know that going into the race, I didn't strength train as much as I needed to, to be able to handle the pounding of these down hills. I ended up with a hobble that required assistance at the tiniest step and a nasty respiratory infection, that still has me into forced "relaxation". I'm already feeling the mental effects of not being able to run, but will attempt to enjoy yoga and cycling for these next few weeks.

Here's a link of the profile map, and a picture of the elevation map to give an idea of the route and elevation changes-
http://www.comrades.com/images/pdf/route%20map%20hi%20res.pdf

Elevation map

If you'd like to re-live or see the entire televised event, here it is: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzdLeqP6dDg

Friday, May 27, 2016- Arrived in Durban, SA travel included a 2 hour flight from Chicago to NY then a 14 hour flight to Johannesburg and then a 1 hour flight to Durban. (A highlight was traveling with Bill and Krissy from New York and being able to give them good luck hugs after parting ways at the airport in Durban).
After setting in, jumping into the team lunch, and saying hellos, I got the chance to head to the Expo for packet pick-up with Laura. Thanks to Brawnwin and the folks at the international tent for adjusting my bib to be able to start with the group, phew!. Also big shout out to the wonderful volunteers at the Team World Vision South Africa tent. The Expo was great, buzzing with nervous and excited runners. 

Saturday, May 28, 2016- am shake out run. So cool to see all of the other runners and teams running and shaking out.

After breakfast, we organized and got on the bus to Pietermaritzburg! We got to drive part of the course and nerves were starting to settle in as we drove up hill after beautiful hill. We stopped for lunch, sat in a sweet drum circle and stopped for a visit at the Comrades museum. The history and spirit of this race is what makes this event so awesome!

 

After we got settled in at the hotel, it was a quick and inspiring Team Dinner that included advice from Chitwood, stories from Rusty and a reminder from Brian about sponsorship and why we were all running the next day. Matthew 25:34-40

Pre-race- feelings of peace, gratitude, nerves, and this song on repeat:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

Sunday, May 29, 2016- RACE DAY
Race morning- Early to rise, race morning dance jams, and gathering with the team. Super thankful for the spectators and volunteers in our group who sent us off in the vans hooting and hollering.

Toeing up at the start line with the team-one of the most moving race starts that I have ever participated in. From the crow of the rooster, to the first gun shot, and of course the singing of "shosholoza"- go forward...

Bamba Iqhaza "participate"
I feel very lucky to have been able to be a part of Team World Vision for this experience. Team Familia was proud to wear orange today! Being part of Team World Vision is what made the race so special. I am humbled by the incredible individuals that I have met, and their dedication to relentless forward motion.

Praying- From the prayer circle lead by Johnny to kick off the day, to individual prayers said throughout the day. Rusty suggested setting an intention to run a kilometer praying for every member of the team, that would knock out 27 kilometers :) He printed out and distributed lists for all of us. I cut the list into groups of 5 and took them out occasionally to focus my mental energy on them and then throw the paper on the ground to "send my prayers to the road". Didn't do so well with a kilometer a runner but I remember some of the intentions set. A few of the prayers teammates asked for: most asked for strong and healthy days- Shiela, Gina, Ana, Fly, Rusty, Orion asked to stay smiling :), not hard for him. 
Some more specific-
Amber- hip, 
Robin- feet, 
Chitwood- left knee and achillies, 
Johnny- prayers for a mentor and friend Ron fighting a battle at home and prayer for sponsorship,
Berg- for wellness as we was fighting being sick,
Fraizier and Aaron- for that 7:30 time goal. These two also reminded me about setting intentions and reminded me not to be fearful. They were not afraid to set an expectation for themselves. I was nervous to set one for myself, but ended up setting a time expectation of 10:30 and went after it. We ended up not reaching our goals, but we still finished healthy and better for the attempt. 
I also spent several parts of the day trying to focus mental energy towards Michelle as she was going to enter her second round of chemo that week, and for my beautiful little nephews. As well intentions towards other family members.
Jenn had asked how I could do the entire thing without music, and it was with prayer and conversation with other runners. I had my phone and earbuds, but never bothered to take it out or fuss with it. Looking back, there were moments that I would have taken it out for mental distraction, but in the end, didn't need it. 

High Fives - Jenn and I have run a few marathons together and we like to high five at the mile markers. It's a fun little thing we do, and I decided that I would try to get 89 high fives that day (for each km sign). Giving high fives to whoever was next to me. I got a few high fives from teammates at the kilometer markers, Rusty, Orion, Amber? Greg? It always made strangers smiles, and gave me something to look forward to. I did however miss quite a few markers, especially after 20km or so to go. 

"This is stupid". After about the first 65km, with 20km or so to go the positive energy, adrenaline and positive attitude was starting to fade away. The beautiful landscape, the energy, the spirit, the high fives from the children on the side of the road, was starting to be overpowered by the negative thought in my head of "THIS IS STUPID". I had remembered how horrible I felt in the Grand Canyon, but I was in the Grand Canyon. My body wanted a break from the pounding of the downhill, and I wanted to stop running. I thought that this "slow Ironman shuffle" couldn't even be counted as running. I was already thinking about how I would from now on only focus on increasing speed, not endurance running. "This is dumb, I'm just shuffling along and barely moving." How I would be completely done with running and embrace my inner yogi. These thoughts, I'm sure entered the heads of several other of my fellow comrades. But then... they passed. I remembered the advice that Chitwood gave at dinner "if you feel bad... it will probably pass, think logically at what is wrong." What was wrong was my attitude. I swore one and done, never again. I'm already thinking about logistics of the up run (well in fairness they say that the down and up are two different races, so I technically wouldn't be doing the exact same race again.....)

Chatting with fellow comrades along the way. 
Greg- hearing his story, thinking that his mom Sharon and my Dad would be enjoying colds ones, cheering us on from heaven, giving us spiritual high fives.

The children along the course-
From the "well done"s from spectators, to the children asking for high fives... and water...Occasionally after aide stations, there were children who came in from surrounding areas picking up left over food and water pouches....their faces and high fives will stay with me. Especially the high fives from the children from the ethembeni school who came out to cheer on, some lined up in wheel chairs waiting for high fives from runners.
http://ethembenischool.co.za/

For Richard, a stranger who told me "stay with me Veronica" when I was starting to struggle. He paced me and kept me going when I was noticeably starting to fade. I finally lost him at a port-a-potty but it was tremendously helpful for those km.

The people- beautiful, proud, friendly, welcoming. 

Port-a-potties.... was feeling super grateful for all of the support along the way, the aide stations were wonderful, but was especially grateful for that emergency port-a-potty stop with only 3km left to go...

Finish line- Really as epic as they say. A bit of organized chaos, some dry heaving and barfing, stretchers, lots of hugs, and even more cheering and smiles. Oh and the tiniest medal on my wall for the most effort given in a race!

  

Numbers- Here is a breakdown of my splits and times. You can see where I stop holding my pace and when I really hit the wall with about 5K left to go

timing and ranking

official start time 05:29:12 actual start time 05:34:29 net time 11:19:20 gross time 11:24:37 (finish time)

rank overall 10543 of 16808 starters rank gender 1904 of 3559 starters rank category 868 of 1591 starters medal Vic Clapham

location time speed o/a sex cat split speed o/a sex cat time of day Lion Park 16,52 km 1:58:30 7:11 min/km 10492 1443 647 1:58:30 7:11 min/km 10704 1487 682 07:27:41 Cato Ridge 31,55 km 3:41:18 7:02 min/km 10642 1498 685 1:42:49 6:53 min/km 11217 1670 769 09:10:29 Drummond 45,57 km 5:21:08 7:05 min/km 10058 1445 670 1:39:51 7:10 min/km 8957 1394 638 10:50:20 Winston Park 59,04 km 7:05:02 7:13 min/km 9679 1469 690 1:43:54 7:42 min/km 8315 1527 720 12:34:13 Pinetown 70,58 km 8:36:24 7:19 min/km 9886 1603 741 1:31:22 7:47 min/km 10950 2347 1066 14:05:35 Sherwood 82,67 km 10:18:16 7:29 min/km 10088 1743 800 1:41:52 8:26 min/km 11690 2600 1197 15:47:27 Durban 89,13 km 11:24:37 7:41 min/km 10543 1904 868 1:06:22 10:18 min/km 14014 2951 1357 16:53:48

Monday, May 30, 2016 UShaka Marine World- Andiswa.

Meeting Andiswa was such a unique, special experience. I just started sponsoring Andiswa in March after signing up with Team World Vision. I chose a child in South Africa, and out of coincidence, she happened to be part of the ADP that allowed for her to be able to join in an outing on that Monday after the race. Other members of the team flew to various countries for vision trips and met their children on the trips later on in the week. I feel lucky that I got to meet Andiswa as I was not participating on a vision trip. Along with Chitwood, Ashley, Rusty, Josh, Amanda, Carrie, Jim, Aaron and Anne, we got the chance to hang out at the UShaka Marine World with our sponsor kiddos and their families.

Andiswa was very shy and soft spoken, even in Zulu. I had brought a Zulu / English children's picture dictionary as a gift for her and she got a kick out of hearing me trying to pronounce words in Zulu as we spent some time learning different words in Zulu and in English. She giggled every time I tried to pronounce a word and butchered it. I would attempt to say, and quickly forget "inhlanzi" (fish) a few times that day. She also got a kick out of the penguins, dolphins and was mesmerized by the fish in the aquarium. 

Sponsorhip- The children are real. Their smiles, their laughs, their needs. Our team has a goal of obtaining 56 sponsors for every mile ran. I ran 56 miles, (yes in one day. 2 marathons, followed by a 5K) and that has not been as hard as finding sponsors for children. I am nowhere near 56 children sponsored. I still need your help. Your financial contribution supports the community where the children live, and your prayers and letters go directly to the children. Please say yes! Several of the communities that World Visions, supports clean water, as a foundation for transforming the community. In areas where clean water is not accessible, more than 50% of children under the age of 5 do not make it to their 6th birthday. Water is life.  I'm asking you to reflect on your resources, and consider giving. I have so many generous friends who give to a variety of wonderful causes. Friends who give to research, who give their time to support their Alma Maters, who give their shoulders, their ears to listen to friends in need, friends who give hope, and friends who attempt crazy feats of endurance to raise money to support the lives of children thousands of miles away from home. This time I am asking you to give by sponsoring a child. 

To sponsor- follow the link below.
http://cause.worldvision.org/campaign-placeholder-465

When I ran my first marathon with Team World Vision in 2007, I first starting hearing about clean water in Africa. But I wasn't really listening... I'm really listening now. I understand how World Vision operates, how children, families and communities are impacted. I've heard countless stories from friends of the impact that they've seen:
Stories like this one, a FB post stolen from Rusty-

This is why the phrase "Water is Life" is so true...

In 2013 I visited Barbachun, Kenya and saw this amazing water project that uses solar energy to get water from a well to the 2,000 people in the village. On that trip we visited a local school where the headmaster told us that school enrollment DOUBLED in the months after water was brought to the community! DOUBLED!

We were blown away to see how water directly effects child protection and education but then.....

Just a couple weeks ago I got to go back to Barbachun and see the next step in "Water is Life"...The second picture here is of construction of a local outdoor market!

In just a few years clean water has not only led to an increase in education and protection of children but now the economy has taken off so much that World Vision had to build an "open air market" to house all buying and selling of crops, goods and services from this now thriving community.

Blows my mind to be able to see a community actualize the phrase "Water is Life" right before our eyes!

Next I want to see, and I look forward to when I will return to Africa to go on a Vision Trip to see. I will continue to stay involved and help to promote the efforts of the team. Get ready to start hearing about the 6K for water coming up in August ...  :)

Tuesday, May 31, 2016 Cape Town, South Africa
While the team traveled to the airport together Tuesday morning, I parted ways with the team. Others were off on their vision trips to see first hand the impact in the communities where they sponsor and contribute. Going on a vision trip would have put me back to work later than I needed to be, so I used the short days I had left to visit Mona in Cape Town. (Which God always has a way of making a point, because while I had grand plans of being responsible and returning to work on Monday- the respiratory infection kept me out of work per doctor's orders anyways and I couldn't return till Wednesday)
I was SUPER excited to see Mona and see the place that made her fall in love with South Africa. I'm grateful to her and Luvuyo for their time, love and conversations. Mona and I worked together at KIPP and Mona has continued to be a friend and educational thought partner. I had the opportunity to go to work with Mona and visit several schools.

   

Before getting into the schools, some touristy stuff... I got the chance to see animals on a game reserve, eat delicious food, and attempt to learn about wine :)- had to throw it in there...

African elephants (and giraffes) are my favorites


Ok, now onto the schools. I visited:
*A government elementary school in Langa (one of the townships in Cape Town), *A Leap high school in Langa
*A Spark charter school in the farmlands of Stellenbosch, 
and 
*A private school in the suburbs of South Africa. SO many differences, but many learning experiences and felt grateful to be a witness. 

It reads "keep saving water"

Government Primary School in Langa- (this first pic is Mona with a former student who was at the school in preparation to becoming a primary school teacher :) )

  

The Leap high school in Langa

Professional Development and the private school in the burbs of Cape Town

SPARK Charter Primary School

School reflections- 

At the end of the day, children are children, and teachers try their best, but all have a variety of skills, resources available to them, and experiences. In my school visits, I had the chance to sit with a boy with Autism, and make a few suggestions of visuals to include for him in his day... not too different from a day at work in Chicago. I saw dramatic differences in township government schools and suburban private schools, not to different from Chicago... but by no means can I begin to draw comparisons without underwhelming the uniqueness and beauty in these schools and communities, so I'm not going to try in this post. I will leave out my reflections on apartheid, race, power, cultures of compliance, segregation, social justice, impact on schools, cycles of poverty..... for a different post, but after hearing about some of the components of how World Vision works as an organization, I can't help but to think about some of the parallels with how these components can apply to our schools, especially our charters, hoping to become established in under-served communities. Some components of the World Vision model that stand out to me:

*A model that is based on long-term partnership

*Phase 1 of the cycle of sponsoring a community is based on building trust and laying groundwork. 

*World Vision does not enter a community unless asked.

*World Vision employs thousands of staff world wide, and it is essential that of the community that it sponsors, World Vision employs members of that community to join on as staff.  

*The needs and resources of the community are assessed before projects begin. 

*Phase 2 of sponsorship community - the community participates in progress and embraces project ownership

*Phase 3- Self assurance and self-sufficiency grow, years of hard work and partnership transform lives of children and communities.

*There is no "one size fits all" solution to poverty, the staff at World Vision takes care to design each Area Development Program with its own needs and assets in mind, tailoring specif interventions to the needs of that community. 

*Partnership- "the poor are not hapless victims; but skilled survivors". World Vision honors the dignity of those they serve, recognizing them as equal partners. World Vision seeks to help those they serve, apply their resourcefulness and local knowledge to crafting solutions that work in their own context. In the end, the poor are their own best hope for overcoming poverty. World Vision simply provides the tools needed to tap into their own potential. 

Information taken from the Vision Trip Field Guide for participants manual But for more information on World Vision visit ...

http://cause.worldvision.org/campaign-placeholder-465

or

http://www.worldvision.org/our-impact

Next year...??
So it's only been two weeks since the race and I'm already highly considering signing up for the UP for next year.... if you're on the fence, have been thinking about this event for one reason or another- sign up! Today's talk at soul city church begins the series - "Defining Moments....movements are made of moments" listening to those little (and loud) whispers and saying yes.....

Again, if you're considering child sponsorship, please say yes! 

http://cause.worldvision.org/campaign-placeholder-465

I'll close off with a picture of me and Bart Yasso. The post below details 

why I signed up in the first place. But in a nutshell, Chitwood and Rusty started the Comrades chatter in my head and Bart Yasso was the one that pushed me to sign up- got to say thanks to him the other tonight, talk about TWV, and buy an autographed copy of his book!